One of the great things about Union St is that when we're caught up in the weekly 'Have I Got Views For You' lunchtime discussion all the barriers come down. We can talk honestly and openly and subjects that might be weighing on us. After a few minutes even tricky subjects tend to untangle themselves and become easier to talk about. This chat about the things that make us nervous was no different:
Meeting new people
Talking to new people is a relatively common thing to be nervous about, but it's refreshing to hear it said out loud by so many. Hearing that many people struggle with the same thing makes it feel like less of a personal burden. We discussed the pressures of talking to someone new, either at work or in life. In these situation it feels like there's an extra pressure to perform, impress or offer 'something of value' to the other person. When you're paying so much extra attention to your own behaviour (or watching yourself on Zoom) it's very easy to forget to listen. Our inner monolog can be so busy rehearsing the next point, that it stops us from having a natural conversation.
Solution: As long as you're not walking into a dangerous situation, it might be possible to reframe your nerves as excitement. Despite there being the possibility that something might go wrong, usually we're nervous because we want it to go well! The outward expression of nervousness and excitement are often the same. Our brains are just rehearsing all the negative outcomes in advance, so that we can deal with them if they happen, but most of the time everything is fine!
Speaking to an expert
Here we talked about calling a service provider or an expert on the phone and the risk that they might use your lack of knowledge to take advantage of you. Having these conversations can be a huge source of stress and it's often even worse on the phone. If you don't know exactly what you need, asking for help is quite a vulnerable position to be in.
Solution: One suggestion for dealing with these nervous feelings was to write down everything you want to say in advance. Memory seems to be one of the first things to go when we get nervous, so having a plan ahead of time and sticking to it can be a useful framework for complicated conversations.
Having all eyes on you
There's something very threatening about being exposed, in front of a crowd. Being the outsider is a vulnerable position, especially when we all crave the safety of a group. There are a number of Union St Co-Workers who perform in one way or another. Whether it's through music, art or comedy, they stand on their own and try to share something of themselves with a crowd. This combines lots of the most nerve-wracking scenarios into one: public speaking, speaking to someone you don't know, trying to impress and relying on your memory.
Solution: Not breathing properly or deeply can make feelings of stress worse, and it's something that we've taken steps to help each other with at Union St. Every week we have 'Meditation Monday' which offers a free guided meditation for all members. We also have upcoming Yoga sessions every Tuesday for members and non-members alike offered by Co-worker Bella. These sessions aim to release tension and gradually build strength through controlled movement and breathing.
Cycling and driving
Let's take a break from stressful social situations. The drivers among us agreed that motorway driving, the risk of a breakdown, driving in dangerous conditions and being driven by an inexperienced driver can all make journeys pretty nerve-wracking. Cyclists talked about the fear of drivers who don't give them enough space, or who loudly overtake them. These have the potential to be dangerous situations so while deep breathing might be still useful, it's more important to be informed and prepared.
Solution: There is widely available advice on staying safe on UK roads for both drivers and cyclists. This involves understanding the highway code, riding and driving in a predictable way and making your intentions known to other road users. Hopefully understanding how to keep yourself and others safe can make a nervous driver, passenger or cyclist feel more comfortable the next time they take to the roads.
If you’re interested in a focused workspace, with access to monitors, keyboards, coffee, tea and most importantly a co-working community who like to talk to and learn from each other, then check out the options here or book in with Matt to take a guided tour.
